The only Rainbow to have ever been successfully incarcerated at the new Rainbow Prison. The rainbow escaped a few minutes after this picture was taken, slowly floating on westward.

Michael Hastner, the man behind the controversial 13km/h speed limit and $100 pedestrian crossing fee, had done it again, and this time, his idea was ingenious (or so he thought).

After having been fired from his road-sign manager position, he’d found himself walking the streets unemployed and depressed.  He spend most of his days sitting on downtown park benches, looking at people as they walked busily between their respective destinations.

Michael quickly began to realize that people were always buzzing around, either on their cellphones, laptops, or tablets.  They rarely spoke to each other, instead focusing on their busy lives and jobs.  

Then, one day, something extraordinary happened: shortly after a thunderstorm, a rainbow appeared in the sky, and the busy workers, who had always been so productive, found themselves taken aback by the natural beauty of the rainbow.

Michael estimated that the loss in productivity due to the rainbow cost the city and state many working-days of productivity, and set out on a mission to convince community leaders that rainbows were bad.  The result of his crusade would be the new State of the Art Rainbow Prison, a large open space in downtown Montreal whose purpose it was to incarcerate rainbows so they could not distract hard working people, and in turn, hurt the city’s GDP.

The Real Life Evil House

There are many stories out there about evil, haunted, or monster houses.  All stories have a similar theme: the house wants to eat/harm neighbourhood children, and adults are oblivious to the evil house’s true nature.

There is one house, however, that even adults will not approach: the Real Life Evil house.  This house stands on its own at the end of a small, quiet street in a quiet, run down neighbourhood in Montreal.

Covered by overgrowth and abandoned for as long as anyone can remember, only its eerie eye-like windows warn passersby of its dangerous nature.  Of course there are some people who actively search for the house, but many turn away when face to face with it.

Only a handful have dared venture inside the house, none of which have ever come out.

If you wish to cross here, you must pay $100

Michael Hastner had been dean at the Université de Montreal when his controversial new 13 km/h speed limit signs went up, and had been forced to retire after the uproar they had caused.  He didn’t want to retire, but understood all too well that the university needed a fall man, and he had been one of the only deans willing to speak up in favour of the new signs.

Nonetheless, this time he had outdone himself.  Michael was the newly appointed road-sign manager for the city of Montreal, and with an ever increasing city budget deficit, he formulated what he believed to be the answer to all the city’s financial problems.

Along with a committee of five civil engineers, three lawyers, and three city beautification planners, he created a new sign that was sure to provide some much needed funds to the city.  The sign imposed a fee on all pedestrians who wanted to cross the streets.  The signs would be put up along busy streets, and fee collectors would be placed along side them.

People who didn’t pay the fee would be caught using hidden cameras, and fined an extra $50.

to netZoom Nummer zwei, the second article in the series where I share interesting discoveries and news from the series of tubes we call the Internets.  I’ve got some funny, weird and interesting things to share with you this week (thought not necessarily in that order), so let’s get started!

Printing food

The first time I ever saw a 3D printer was while watching Jurassic Park 3.  In the movie, a tool builds a Raptor’s voice box one layer at a time, effectively creating a working, life size model of something that was last seen on earth 65 million years ago.  At the time I dismissed the whole thing as impossible mumbo-jumbo, but today I have to say I’m surprised I didn’t take the idea more seriously.  3D printers do exist, and they have existed for a while now.

Although I couldn’t pin point exactly when they were invented, looks like some guy named Chuck Hull actually patented a 3D printing method back in 1986.  At the time, the process required a small elevator, some lasers and a bucket of liquid photopolymer (a liquid that hardens when a laser hits it).  Nowadays, however, the process has changed slightly.

Today’s 3D printers are like our everyday inkjet printers: they have nozzles that move and squirt out some kind of material (typically plastic).  Thing is, the material doesn’t always have to be plastic, and some people have started playing around with other materials.

A printed miniature space shuttle made of ground scallops and cheese

I was listening to one of my regular radio talk shows this week (yes, I have regular talk shows) and was surprised to learn that some people down at Cornell have been printing food using this 3D printing technology.  Although still in its early stages, the researchers imagine a world where our food will be built for us by in-home 3D printers, one layer at a time.

This would allow for us to have food that is catered to our needs.  For example, if you’re on a diet, you could ask the printer to prepare your dish with a limited number of calories.  You could also have the printer build your child some toy-shaped broccoli, or a birthday cake prepared in such a way that “Happy Birthday” appears on the inside of the cake (visible only when you cut it).

Its some pretty crazy stuff, and I can’t wait to see if we’ll have startrek-esque food replicators in the next couple of decades…

Read more about 3D printing here…

Real life shrek

Chances are you’ve never heard of Maurice Tillet, the french actor, poet and wrestler who would speak 14 different languages.  Oh, and did I mention this guy looks a lot like Shrek.

Maurice Tillet, Freak Ogre of the Ring

Although I was unable to find any proof of a link between the man and the character, the similarities are still quite stunning.  That a man who suffered from acromegaly (a disease where one’s bones grow uncontrollably) would become a wrestler known by some as the Freak Ogre of the Ring sixty years before Shrek appeared is a somewhat eerie coincidence.  Though probably not as eerie as the Wreck of the Titan…

Read more about the real life Shrek here…

In Other News…

• Car GPS System Kidnaps Woman for 3 days
• Man Arrested for Placing 18,000 Prank Calls to 911
• Spiders Catching Cars On Fire

And On This Day In…

• 1797 – the first ever peaceful transfer of power between elected leaders in modern times, John Adams is sworn in as President of the United States, succeeding George Washington.
• 1902 – The AAA is established in Chicago, Happy 109th AAA!
• And a lot more…

Video: The Key of Awesome – Monster

I havn’t had cable since I moved to Montreal back in summer of 2009, and truth be told, I don’t miss it one bit.  I get my news from the internet, my shows from online streaming services, and my movies from Netflix and other movie download services.  And with all that, I also spend a lot of time on YouTube.

One of the shows I’ve been watching on YouTube is called The Key of Awesome.  This music parody show has posted 35 music videos for the past year and a half, many of which are a must see.  Most of the time, their videos make fun of existing songs and artists (for example Katy Perry, Eminem, Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, Kesha, Michael Jackson/Glee, etc…), although some videos are original songs (Twilight Sucks, Awkward Sex, Winter Girls, etc…).

Take a look at the vids and let me know which is your favorite. There are so many that I personally can’t pick an absolute favorite, althought today’s video is one that I watched over and over again: Kanye West’s Monster (don’t miss the surprise cameo at the end of the video).

Enjoy!

And that’s pretty much it…

for this week.  I’ll be travelling during the next couple of weeks, so the next netZoom article will probably show up at the end of March.  See you then!

So, without further ado, I’m proud to present you with: Cars Burried in Snow! (click on a pic to see the it full-size)

A pic I took last after last year's first storm, a few weeks after selling my car...

This guy'll be having fun getting into his car...

Digging out of this is gonna suck...

Imagine if someone was in the car...

Can you spot the car in this one?

Sucks to be you...

I know... I know...

Now, where to start…?

First I’d like to point everyone to new updated maps that have been uploaded to the Chronicles of Netheril section of the site.  These were all provided by Ingram, and serve to compliment the weekly updates he prepares.  I do expect that this will be one of the last map updates for the Netheril adventure, the reason being the development of the new D&D adventure tool I’m working on.

The tool itself is coming along nicely, and some of you have been using the NPC page for some time now.  I’ve not heard any complaints, so I assume the page is working well and am focusing on migrating quests and locations (including maps) to the tool.  If the holiday season doesn’t keep me too bogged down, I’m expecting to have both new features up and ready in time to celebrate the arrival of 2011.  In the meantime, if you ever do find a problem with the current NPC page, be sure to let me know in a comment or by email, because if I don’t know about an issue, I can’t do anything to fix it.

In other news, Flash Imaginations are now regularly posted every Wednesday at 12pm.  I’m surprised at how many interesting pics I can take just by walking around downtown Montreal, and I’ve taken so many pictures lately that I think I may have to do something a little different in the coming weeks to get more of them on the site.  In fact, its a pretty safe bet that you’ll be seeing a Flash Imagination Contest fairly soon, so keep those eyes open.

Finally, I wanted to take a moment and discuss writing.  Specifically I wanted to talk (or write) about the short story I last mentioned in a post about 3 months ago.   The story is on its way, although it has evolved and rounded out quite a bit since a few months ago.  I believe this was caused by the decision I made to take the time and write the whole story before posting a part.  Its a lot of work, but it allows me to think things through carefully, and to rewrite certain parts of the story as I see fit.

Probably the biggest challenge I’ve faced so far regarding this project has been finding the time to write.  I spend a lot of my day at work, and when I’m not commuting between home and work, I’m walking my dog, letting her experience the urban jungle that is Montreal.  So lately I’ve been trying something new which has been working wonders: writing while I commute.

Now before you all start telling me how dangerous that is, I should mention that I take the subway to work, so its not like I’m driving down the highway at 120km/h, writing new posts as cars and trucks drive around me.  In fact, the 1-1.5 hours I would otherwise spend playing eye ping-pong with other commuters each day goes by a lot faster when I’m typing away.

Even now, as I’m writing the initial draft of this post I’m standing in a subway car, speeding towards atwater station.  Don’t believe me? Well here’s a pic of us arriving at the station:

Speeding by Atwater Station

Ok its blurry, but we were going fast, and you can’t really expect more from a cell phone camera.  My cell phone, surprisingly enough, is what I use to write on.  Although the keyboard is small, and I only use my thumbs, I find that its easier to write in this environment than any other, mostly because of lack of distractions.

Well, I’ve just reached my stop, and should get into work.  Keep an eye open for updates and contests, they’re all on the way.  And hopefully we’ll also be able to start the new year off with a new short story, written entirely while riding the Montreal subway system!

Montreal University Speed Limit

The new speed limit at l’Universté de Montréal (Montreal University) was set to 13 km/h today.

Leaders of the university ignored complaints by campus students and staff who said that their car’s speedometer really only displayed speeds that were multiples of 10.  When confronted by this, one of the university’s deans admitted that “…the speed limit is really just meant to confuse drivers into slowing down.”

Another spokesperson said the university was looking into getting each student with a car a digital speedometer that would loudly beep if the speed it displayed was greater than 13km/h.

Ichiro Dai'ichi, one of the many Butter People

The Yamaguchi-gumi family, which first appeared in the early 1910s, was founded by Harukichi Yamaguchi.  The organization was small at first, with only a few dozen members.  It wasn’t until 30 years passed and a certain Kazuo Taoka, an orphan that had been raised by the Yamaguchi-gumi, became leader of the family that the family’s path was forever changed.

Kazuo Taoka expanded the family’s influence so it grew exponentially, becoming the most powerful and influential of the Yakuza organizations in the world today.  Some said it was his charisma, others his deadly charm, and some even mentioned his radical ideas (of allowing members of the family to have legitimate businesses and families of their own) as reasons for the family’s success.

Yet few today outside the family know the truth.  The truth that the young orphan from Kobe had mystical powers that allowed him to instantly kill his opponents by turning them into solid yellow ivory (making them look as though they were made of solid butter).  The victims would then be displayed in public spaces as a warning to anyone who would dare think to cross the family.

Some of these victims are still visible today, standing motionless in many public places, mistaken by many who see them as beaten or deformed statues.  Such is the case for Ichiro Dai’ichi, one of Kazuo Taoka’s earliest victims, who can be found surrounded by a multitude of other victims in a statue erected on McGill College Avenue, in Montreal, Canada.

So expect to see find a handfull of new Flash Animation posts over the next little while as I discover the quirks of my new city.

How To Add A New Floor To Your House

He’d re-mortgaged the house.

He had rented four cranes, and hired two dozen construction-site workers.

He had bought truckload after truckload of trees, which he then had cut into blocks a metre long, and about 20 centimetres wide.

After a few days, his wife had left with the children.

But Martin had always wanted a three story house – one story taller than all of his neighbours – and no matter what the cost, he was going to get it.

NOTE: The picture is of a house that’s been lifted and put on what looks like makeshift stilts.  If you click on it, you can see it in actual size, and you can see that the house has been lifted so its higher than its neighbour.  I saw this house while walking to meet Koji’s breeder (Koji is my dog), and just had to snap a pic.

• Halloween in Montreal – Finale Part 1 – Confession
• Halloween in Montreal – Finale Part 2 – 12:01 am

About Halloween in Montreal – **POSSIBLE SPOILERS BELOW** – You’ve been warned!

Now that the adventure is over, I wanted to talk a little bit about this short story, why I wrote it, where it came from, and what it means to me as a completed work.

Truth is, this story came about from two sources, one of which is my attempt at reliving childhood imagination, and the other my attempt at writing a non-fantasy work of fiction.

Childhood Imagination

One of my favourite movies is the flick Finding Neverland starring Johnny Depp and Kate Winslet, which follows the story of J. M. Barrie (the author Peter Pan).  The movie is truly amazing, both with its heart-wrenching story, as well as its depiction of J.M Barrie’s overactive imagination. Definitely a must see movie if you havn’t already seen it.

Although I don’t wish to compare myself to Mr. Barrie, I have to admit that I saw part of myself in his character.  Specifically, I connected with the character’s ability imagine things up at any time, and his portrayed fascination with childhood imagination.  Everyone has seen children playing on the street, and there is something magical at how they can conjure up and live out epic adventures in the matter of minutes, using mere sticks and stones as great weapons to defeat the evils of their stories.

I sometimes think back at the wars and battles I fought as a child, and find myself missing that feeling.  Then there are days like Halloween day 2009, where out of nowhere, my imagination wakes up and takes me on a wild ride, the result of which, in this case, was Halloween in Montreal.

Non-Fantasy & Fist Person

Although the majority of stories on Folaji.com are currently fantasy stories (either taking place in the realm of Warcraft or the imagined lands of a Dungeons and Dragons adventure), fantasy is not my favourite genre.  In fact, if I had to choose, I would probably pick Horror (à la Steven king) or Science-Fiction (à la Frank Herbert) as my favourite story genres.  That being said, I also like to push the envelope, and Halloween in Montreal was an attempt to do just that.

This is the first non-science, non-fantasy, fiction story that I’ve ever written.  I’ll admit it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be.  The challenge was to embrace the childlike imagination I wrote about above, all the while keeping the story in the realm of “plausible possibility”.

I mean, who knew how hard it would be not to include a large Dragon, an army of Alien Warships, or Scary Ghosts in this story?  Well, for someone who’s imagination is often jumping around, it was a challenge.  By the end, however, I guess you could say I’d reached a point where I could focus my imagination to the realm of the possible, something I’d never attempted or achieved before.

This is also the first story I’ve ever written using the First Person point of view (have you noticed, we never learn the name of the hero in the story?).  Now there’s great debate out there about writing in the First Person, and I’m not looking to add to the debate other than to say that I do believe First Person point of views can be very useful in presenting a story, or part of a story, when used properly.

A known and accepted limitation of First Person writing, however, is that the reader only ever know what the central character knows, and you can not delve into other character’s thoughts.  Used in a certain way, however, this can allow the writer to create suspense and mystery, although you have to be careful not to make your story too confusing my keeping too much from your readers.

Conclusion

I’m glad I took on these two challenges and stuck to my guns, and I believe it made for an interesting story now that all is said and done.  With the final part of the story published, Halloween in Montreal now belongs to the Folaji.com archives, and was a fun ride while it lasted.  Although, just like real life, the story never really does end, and I may revisit this universe sometime in the future.

In the meantime, I have a few other projects that require my attention.

So, what did you think? Leave a comment letting me know!